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“...and the child then feels that the reason for her (mother’s) apparent refusal to accept his love is that his own love is destructive and bad...(the child) feels that his love is bad because it appears destructive towards his libidinal objects”
It is not enough for a mother to love her child; she needs to accept the way her child expresses their love. When a child’s unique expressions are met with rebuff or indifference, the child feels shame and learns to hide their real self. This is the origin of the development of the false self—or the under functioning real self.