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Imprisoning yourself through avoidance and hiding who you are, or blowing up your life through domination and control, is the easy path. It takes little effort to destroy a life or live in a box or let fear take the lead. It takes courage and hard work to live freely; it means willingness to take the risk of being open, vulnerable, emotionally honest, living your life as your whole, true self in all its plurality. It means having hard, kind, respectful conversations in the service of care and deepening intimacy. It’s the hardest work. You have to ‘feel and work and fight till you die’ but the ‘most wonderful life on earth’ is to be free